Going and coming...

Been a few days since I last wrote. As I was sitting down by the computer just now, I realized that today is my twenty-one and a half ‘birthday’. Outside another storm left behind by the previous typhoon is raging, even though it is already past midnight. Inside, the large attic of my big aunt (dad’s side) is empty and cool.
Another trip to southern Taiwan, this time for the purpose of the ‘big worship’, which was yesterday, the 15th of the Seventh Month in the Lunar calendar. Always a terribly busy and hectic day everywhere, with every household and business setting up table-fuls of food, beverages and dishes to ‘sacrifice’ to the ghosts that roam the world at the moment. Firecrackers, prayers, flower wagons and parades cruise the streets, while men and women, old and young busy themselves with traditions that have been kept alive and passed down from generation to generation.
What a hectic trip…rushing from relative to relative, from place to place. In the last three days I’ve covered three cities and towns. Tomorrow another city to go to, another ‘mission’ it seems, to meet and greet people I’ve not seen. And the day after, return to Taipei, for the final preparations before my friends from Singapore arrive. So short of time…so tired so often…
The feeling of arriving and leaving again so suddenly is difficult to describe. It’s as if you are but a sightseer, even though you feel this is the place where you grew up, where you are familiar with. A sad feeling always, as the train departs to another place, to another place of memories…
As the end of the month draws near, I begin to wonder and worry. I’ve not heard anything from Leiden University, where I applied for a Masters programme more than three weeks ago. No news at all. It’s already passed the deadline I imposed on myself. After yesterday I said to myself if they do not reply, then I will stay here longer and forfeit the opportunity to study this year. In a way, I will be glad (sort of) if that is the case…since then I can stay here much longer…I wouldn’t have to face that teary goodbye so soon.

But leave here I someday must… I must.