It's Mid Autumn Festival. The full moon is out, its roundness is read as a time to unite families in this country. But some families are not united. Some families are not meant to be united.
I just came home after taking a walk in the afternoon. As I turned the keys of the front door, I felt something was wrong. The door opened too easily...I locked it many times more. And as I walked passed the kitchen, a box full of fruits were left on the floor. Someone's been inside the house! The fridge too is filled with yet another box of kiwis. But as soon as I realised someone's been here, I started trembling.
Still I tremble. It's that feeling of being in a place where an intruder has broken into...a queasy uneasiness, which summons terrible thoughts of what could have happened had I been home earlier when the stranger entered... but I know who came. The only other person with our keys is my dad. And that makes this 'stranger's entry' the more terrifying, and the more painful.
Why has it come to this? My dad, entered into our home, but I do not feel safe. Instead, I feel like we've been broken into, as if some stranger has come and left. And instead of robbing the place empty, he actually put some things into the house.
I'm trembling still...filled with such a mixture of emotions! Bitterness, fear, anger, and sorrow. I'd like to confront him, tell him it's not right to enter our home like that without even saying anything beforehand (though he may have called...) But the more I think about it, the more bizzare the situation. This is his home too. A twisted fact, I realise. And he came all the way from far, carrying two heavy boxes of fruits for us to eat. All that effort, all that time he took to bring us something good, something which is a token of his care and presence...
But in a way, he left this home; he forefeited this home, and his right to be here when he left us three years ago. Like the stranger I feared had broken into our home, he has become a stranger. My dad... How do I tell him, how do I make him understand this, without offending him? How do I make him realise that he cannot treat this family and treat us as if nothing had ever happened? Because many things changed since the day he left us without reason. Many things have evolved, though he may not think this way. He cheated us of the right to have a dad, to have a husband, to have a 'properly functioning family'. And he lied to us many times, covered up his trail with lies and deceit. And now he returned, pretending as if a box or two of fruits will make it all better... My dad. My dad!
The irony of it all...
the sad truth and terrible consequences of it all...
The moon is bright,
full and whole.
But some families are not.