The past few days I've spent arranging my room, and perhaps to go even deeper, arranging my life. Unpacking all those boxes full of my stuff, full of pictures, letters, notes, books and papers from all sorts of places and times is like taking a 'review' journey of my life. Reading some of the things I wrote surprised me how well I could write back then! Something then inspired me, and propelled me to write so well, so clearly and so thoughtfully. I wonder sometimes whether that 'magic' has somehow disappeared.
Besides tidying up, hours after hours were spent organising the pile of letters and utility company bills. Sure, most have been deal with, but they're a mess, and noone seems to have any idea what is what. Slowly, things are becoming clearer. Something brother said to me today, not just the once but twice, meant a lot: "Since you've gotten back you've really helped a lot." It's good to be appreciated...
While walking around the neighbourhood, I found myself treading the same trail I used to tread on my way to school. Nothing has changed it seems, but of course much has changed; it's just that those changes may be invisible to the eye. Thinking back, it's still strange to imagine that I was then 17, and still going to high school. Thinking back, it's funny to remind myself of the 'fun' I had alone in the forest feeding those geese and ducks. I wonder if the creatures I saw just yesterday are the same as the ones I fed and was pecked by so many springs ago.
And today I cycled. Cycling, cycling I got that 'rush' again...In this country, it seems the wind is always against you wherever you are, however hard you peddle. Then again, cycling give you a free feeling, a feeling of being able to ride to wherever you want, at whatever speed you want to. And the roads were clear, clean, and green. Though the trees are still bare, crocuses dotted many fields I passed by. Though the air was cold and dry, the skies low and cloudy, the sun seemed to be poking its rays and warmth out.
It's early spring.