Feeling good? (abridged)

Went to the hairdressers today. It’s been a long time since I had a ‘decent’ haircut, one with a stylist who doesn’t just cut, but who really styles. So this one offered the whole package, from washing to massaging, from styling to cutting, from washing again to blow drying. Almost two hours later, I came out a different person, from the outside, and perhaps from the inside too.

To be honest, I was really tense and nervous when I had my hair washed and head massaged. I felt quite intimidated by the touch at first. I guess I’ve always had trouble being touched by people intimately, and the way he was massaging my head and hair, washing my earlobes and neck didn’t help. I was so tense and stiff that he had to tell me to relax a couple of times. At one point I was shaking and fidgeting with my fingers, not knowing where to put my hands… How awkward!

When the hairwashing was done, I was relieved. So I sat in front of the mirror and waited for the stylist to arrive. Don’t really like looking at myself, but when you’re in front of a mirror, I guess you have to. I found myself sometimes looking down or sideways, but then I couldn’t avoid the reflection in the mirror. I looked more and more, and found it easier to look. So this is who I am!

The stylist came and did her magic. She gave me a short cut, but in a month or two I would be able to have a protruding ‘ridge’ along the middle of my head. Not sure what that style is called (I’d call it a ‘very slight mohican’), being not too fashion conscious, but the picture looked convincing enough. All the while she complimented me on my looks, my body and ‘aura’, and said I’d look even better after the cut. She said, to my surprise, that my hair has a very slight natural curl, and could be very smooth and fine, if only I took the effort to take care of it and condition it everyday.

I’m not sure whether the compliments about my looks were genuine, or whether she simply tried to make conversation. She said a lot of girls must fall for me, and asked whether I have a girlfriend. I politely said no, and smiled (and blushed?).

The point is, she made me feel good about myself, and my appearance, and it’s been a while. Was she sincere, or simply flattering me? I could never tell the difference. I looked at myself in the mirror after her magic, and actually liked what I saw. Hm, perhaps she was right…I could be good looking, I could be attractive if only I would allow myself to be so.

A little self-pampering, inflated self-ego wouldn’t hurt once in a while, right?