What do you expect from me?

What do you expect from me, mum and dad?

I've always been an obedient, courteous, and filial son, never tried to disappoint you, always tried to impress you. But nothing is never enough.

I graduated from university when I was just twenty. That's not enough, because you never heard of my university before. I had a good job working in university. That's not good enough, because you think my job was worthless. I'm still young, and I want to find my way in life. That's a waste of time, because you cannot brag to other people how much I'm earning and what prestigeous school I'm studying at. Nothing is ever right, everything is forever wrong.

Do you care more about prestige and face than my feelings?

I'm here helping a friend, and you worry that I might become romatically involved with her. I'm here for no other reason except to help someone in need, and yet you think terrible of me and imagine things that are not even there. If you want to suffer yourselves, please do not involve me. You can suffer in your own wild imaginations and ignorance, but do not scold me for it.

I will not write this if I were not hurt by your demands and distrusts. Did you not leave me when I was just 13 to live alone? Why could you do that then, but now that I'm already 22 still distrust me like I'm an irresponsible and ignorant child? If I wanted to be bad, if I wanted to smoke, drink, have lead a promiscuous life abusing other people's bodies and feelings, I could. But I didn't, and I wont't. Because I know the difference between right and wrong. Something I wonder if you do.

I am not the one with problems communicating. I am not the one who is living together with a stranger at home and pretending that everything is all well and happy. I am not the one who is abusive and angry all the time, and pretends that all is well and happy.

Why should I continue to listen to your disappointments in me and scoldings, when I could be like my brother and just cut off all communication?

I will not do that, because I have feelings and I am only human.